December 8, 2017

Oh, I See

  I woke up very early this morning with my cheaters still on. I do that sometimes as I am a reader and I read at night before bedtime. I read until my eyes start to gloss over and then I know it is the perfect time to slowly turn my nook off and lay my cheaters aside. If I’m too abrupt, I wake myself up so I have to read at least another chapter, which is okay by me, but it does make getting good restorative sleep a bit dicey. I love when it happens though. It reminds me of a baby who can just fall asleep mid anything. I have a feeling this could happen to any one of us as we approach a certain age.

Once an adult twice a child! That hardly ever happens to me as sleep is every elusive. Only since I had children. I think we Mom’s teach ourselves to listen while sleeping, which means we don’t sleep. Just because the children have left the nest does not mean a good night’s sleep is coming. Once a habit is formed it is very difficult to break, add in the whole age thing, which I would prefer not to get into, and there you have it. No rest for the weary.

I have at least 10 pairs of 1.50 cheaters I can’t find. I keep them in every room of our living quarters, so I will have them when I need them. The problem is I have them on when I enter the B&B, and lay them down somewhere while I am doing my chores. Spot number 1.

 Sometimes I push them on top of my head, then put another pair on as I can’t find the first pair perched ever so regally on my head. That pair then ends up on the back of my head, unbeknownst to me, while I have on the second pair. I honestly think that is how the saying “ she’s got eyes in the back of her head” got started. Probably not, but it makes sense.

Eventually I find most of them, but never when I need them. I have resorted to wearing a pair that has a broken arm or a missing lens as I am afraid to throw them away in case I can’t locate the elusive non-broken pairs.

I sometimes walk out to the car with them on, which is a feat as I am a bit awkward walking down the steps then the driveway to get to my car. I realize after I have entered the car why I felt so weird , so off go the cheaters and into the cup holder they go. I eventually go out to the car when I am desperate to bring in the 5 pairs already out there. Spot number 2 for the missing eyeglasses.

I have a pair of prescription progressive lenses. I only wear them when I am out. I keep them safely tucked away in my purse. They are attractive and fit my face as the wonderful nurse at my eye doctor’s office talked me into looking in the children’s eye glass section. I guess I have a petite face making all the other lenses to big. I suppose  that means that my cheaters are not only missing but unattractive as well. 

I can’t wear my progressives for important matters as I am still getting used to that “sweet” spot. You know that just right place in the lenses that is either for reading or for distance. Which by the way I do not need. I only need the readers. The big, cheap, unattractive ones you get in a three pack at the dollar store or TJ Maxx.

I play guitar poorly and sing mediocre for our church band and only use my cheaters as I know for sure I’ll be able to see my music and not the congregants looking back at me. Hit a wrong chord, or wrong note. No problem, if I can’t see them, they can’t see me. Does wonders for confidence.

My New Year resolution this year is going to be finding a container or attractive box to hold my multiple cheaters and to keep better tract of them. I’ll let you know in February how I am doing.